Bond

"Before you were conceived

I wanted you

Before you were born

I loved you

Before you were here an hour
I would give my life for you
This is the miracle of life."

Maureen Hawkins

 

Love is a powerful thing. There is the kind of  love between two friends, love for our pets, love between a husband and a wife, and then there is the love we have for our children.  This love is one of the most sacrificial kinds of love--parental love. Before our children are even a second old, we would do anything for them, including giving our own lives for theirs. This love is not conditional for babies cannot do anything for us. Love between a husband and wife may be at times sacrificial but let's face it, even love in a marriage is conditional. It's conditional on whether or not he does the dishes or picks up after himself. Or whether she cooks dinner or cleans the toothpaste out of the sink. Although we have good intentions and do not plan to have this kind of love in our marriages, we sometimes do. But, love for a child is not conditional at all. Babies are helpless. There is nothing babies do to make us love them. They bring joy to our hearts, yes, but they cannot clean, cook or pay for anything yet we love them nonetheless. As we begin to love our children, a bond begins to grow. Over time we see them change & experience life with them. We watch their personalities develop and the bond we have with them grows stronger.

Of all the bonds we share with others, the bond between a mother and child is hard to miss. Moments after having my daughter I wondered if there was something wrong with me. I did not feel the instant bond I had heard so much about. I loved her, this I knew, but I did not feel that overwhelming, unbreakable bond that I thought I would have from the moment I saw her. My husband will joke with me now about that bond. He will sarcastically ask, "So are you still worried about not having a bond with her?" Of course I say no, not at all. The bond with my daughter had to happen over time. I had to get to know her. When she was placed in my arms, I loved her dearly but she was almost a stranger to me. I had known her in my womb, but I did not know her completely. My husband and I put so much pressure on ourselves to have this instant bond with her, but love grows over time and bonds are made through experiences. Each day the bond I have with my little girl grows stronger and stronger. And although my husband loves our daughter & has a bond with her, the bond between mother and child is different. Even my husband will confess that my relationship with her is unique from his. I'm not sure if it's because I carried her for ten months or if it's because I feed her or if it's just because I am her mom. We have found that she seems to associate my husband as the fun one and me as the nurturing and soothing one. Even though she is only eight months, she is able to make that distinction.

The parent-child relationship amazes me, especially the mother and child bond. If you look around our world and even in nature, moms and their babies has a special relationship. Little cubs nuzzle their mothers. Little joeys nestle in their mother's pouch. Bonds are all around us. When children grow up and leave home, that bond still remains. Although I am a mother now, I still have a mom and that will never change. In my heart there is still a strong tie to my mother that I will have the rest of my earthly life. My hope and prayer is that when my daughter is grown, she will still feel the same way. I hope she is never too old or too cool for her mom.

Great Resource for Saving a Buck!

When my husband and I were taking about me staying home, he bought me this book:

It ended up being a great resource for how to live on less, and not just for stay at home moms. This book has it all. The author, Jonni McCoy, has already priced out items & compared what is the better buy. She also has recipes for any budget and tips on how to live on less. I found this book to be most helpful in spending less money, especially on groceries. She has tips & directions for how to make things yourself. I also found that she has a website that has even more tips & ideas for living on less. With the economy in the state it's in, living on less is something all of us are being forced to do. Having a family in today's society makes stretching the dollar even more difficult. Jonni has many family-friendly ways to save and she shows you how. Check out her website for more ways to save a buck or two! : http://www.miserlymoms.com/index.html

Being Purpose Driven

Before we got married, my husband and I decided that if possible, I would stay home with our children. We felt God calling us to do this and that is was the best decision to make. After having our first child, we knew that staying home with her was the only option for us. Unless a person is very well off, I don't think anyone can "afford" to stay home. It must be a decision where a person knows there will have to be many sacrifices made in order to achieve that goal. When we had our daughter I was currently a Kindergarten teacher. I took about 3 months off and then had to return to work for 3 more months to finish off the school year. In a way it was beneficial to have to return to work so that we would know if staying at home was the best option for us. Those 3 months I returned to work were the hardest and longest days. I felt like I never saw my daughter and I started to feel as if she didn't know who I was anymore. Thankfully she was 3 months when I returned to work so she wasn't as aware as a one year old might be. Nevertheless, it was extremely challenging and hard on both my husband and I. There were many tears shed, on both our parts, and many heart aches for one of us to be with her during the day. We were blessed enough to have family or close friends taking care of her, but even that wouldn't suffice what we wanted for our family. I hoped that those 3 months would pass quickly and that I would not have to return to work again. We prayed for God's direction and hoped that his answer would be what we longed for as well.


After praying and looking at our budget, we decided to take a huge leap of faith. The answer was easy yet came with sacrifices--I would stay at home with our little girl. We looked at where we could make cuts in our monthly budget and where we might come up short for money. My husband works two jobs right now but one is a temporary job so we needed to figure out how much we would have when he wasn't getting a second paycheck.  We discussed that some huge cuts would need to be made. First, our grocery bill needed to be cut in half. I wasn't good about making a list or shopping the ads or cutting coupons. This would have to change. Next, we looked at what we could do without. Cable? Phone bill? Eating out? We decided to get rid of cable, cut the minutes in our phone plan & be strict about how much we ate out. Last, pay off any bills that we could.  Debt is not something we like. Debt stresses people out & can do tremendous damage to a marriage. We do not have credit cards for this reason. We did however, have medical bills that caused us stress and huge chunks of money each month. In an effort to cut money spent in our monthly budget, we decided to try to pay off all of our medical bills before I received my last paycheck. It's only by God's faithfulness that we were able to accomplish this. I still cannot believe we were able to do this! After we had made cuts across the board, we still needed a small sum of money each month to meet all of our financial needs, but it was much smaller than when we had started.


In order to stay at home, without having to have a full-time job, we would also need to look at other ways to save money. I started looking at various ways to save money when buying groceries and baby items since those two things cost the most amount of money. I began shopping the weekly ads, finding coupons & looking for recipes that called for items I already had in the cupboard.  Instead of making several trips to the grocery store each week, I began only going once a week, with a list and budget in mind. I also started writing out the meals I was going to make each week & decided to only use meat in 2 or 3 meals. In the remaining meals I would use tuna, eggs or we would eat cereal.  When buying baby items I began to look more closely at clearance items & consignment stores. These are things I already did, but now I began to think futuristic instead of just the immediate now. I also looked online for deals & bargains.


All of these things I began to do in an effort to remain a stay at home mom. There was a purpose in mind--my daughter--and I never will forget that. The journey is only just beginning, this is the last month I receive a paycheck, but I am praying & putting my faith in God to provide. I am aware of the sacrifices, tears & hardship that lies ahead for us, but when I look at my daughter I know that it will all be completely worth it. God has given me this great blessing of having and raising a child and I want to ensure that she receives the love, care and attention she needs. I created this blog to share my ideas, tips, resources & thoughts so that other moms might be able to stay at home with their children as well. Staying at home is a decision that calls for faith. We are stepping out in faith & trusting in the Lord to provide as he has said he will. Please check back for ideas, tips and resources on saving money--one of my favorite things to do!

Way to Save--#2 Be Thrifty

“Thrifting” is not a new concept, but one I feel is not taken advantage of enough. By “thrifting” I mean Goodwill, thrift stores, garage sales, craigslist, ebay or consignment stores. All these places are great venues to save money at. Finding a bargain brings me a momentary happiness. I love a good deal and it’s hard to pass one up. Thrifting can save a lot of money if you are wise in what you are purchasing; especially when shopping for children’s items. As a stay-at-home mom I am always looking for ways to save a penny--well maybe not a penny but a dollar. Although thrifting does take a little more time than going to a retail store and buying it new, the savings will still outweigh the time spent.

Just the other day I went to Salvation Army and found a gently used push walker toy for $3 as compared to buying the same toy new for $20. This toy was hard plastic so all I needed to do was disinfect it really well and it was good as new! My daughter is 8 months and never know the difference. I have also purchased otherwise expensive toys for only a few dollars at other local thrift stores such as Mama Kelly's in Old Towne Bellevue. I recommend buying toys that are able to wipe clean and disinfect. One amazing deal that I snagged was at Mama Kelly's in Bellevue. Taggies are these plush blankets and toys that have tag ribbons all around the edges because for some reason or another, kids and babies love tags! These Taggie blankets retail for around $15-$30 new. I found a new--doesn't look used at all--taggie blanket (the bigger size) for $2.50! The Taggie blanket retails for around $20--even on ebay! That is one amazing deal!!!

If you do not have time or a way to go out to thrift, you can always go online to hot spots such as craigslist, ebay and other auction-like websites. You can find almost anything online now days with a click of a mouse!

Consignment stores are perfect for finding a bargain. In the Omaha metro area there are several consignment stores that are great for finding a good deal on gently used kid’s stuff. My favorite store for this is Bigwheels to Butterflies. They have amazing prices on clothes, toys and baby gear. I do almost all my shopping for my daughter there and am able to get so much more for my money. Since babies only wear outfits once or twice, the clothes are in impeccable condition. I usually can find outfits for around $2.50-3.50. Some name brand items are a few dollars more but most of the time their clothes fall within that range. They also sell toys, baby gear, shoes and anything else you could need for a baby or toddler. The nice thing about buying from stores like this is that once you are done with the item, you can sell it back to them! I like this concept most of all. This store has two locations in the Omaha area—168th & Maple and 72nd & 370. Not only do they have these two stores, but they also have a sister store called B2B—Last Chance where everything is $1. Seriously, everything is only one dollar! They take the items that do not sell at the other locations and send them to this store. Not only will you find clothes there but also toys, shoes, hats, socks, tights, leggings, swimsuits, movies & books. Next to Bigwheels to Butterflies, their B2B store is my favorite. With a little digging, I can find great clothes for only $1 each. Sometimes they have a sale and everything is only 50 cents!!! Thrifting is a great way to save a buck, especially on kid’s items. Kid’s are so rough on their clothes, why not buy “play clothes” at a consignment store?

Another way to save by thrifting is to sell your kid’s stuff at a consignment store as a mentioned before. When finding a deal online I prefer to use CraigsList and Ebay. I like CriagsList because it’s local and I don’t have to pay shipping. Ebay is nice when looking for a particular item but you do have to pay shipping. Both are great for saving money, but I always price out items to see if I am getting a good deal or getting hosed. Other thrifting avenues are great for saving money---Goodwill, thrift stores, flea markets & garage sales. With a little digging, you are sure to find great bargains & save money!

Ways to Save---#1 Make it Yourself

This is probably not a new idea to most, but probably an idea most people do not take advantage of. In being a stay-at-home mom there is some creativity that is needed. When we buy things that are pre-packaged, it costs more money. Again, nothing new right? Convenience is never cheap. We blame it on time. We say that we are too busy and there is not enough time to make it ourselves. What we sometimes do not realize is that when we are buying items that are pre-packaged or items that are more expensive because we do not have time to do it ourselves, we are actually costing ourselves more money. How? We are spending more money because we are paying a higher price for the item and then having to work or save more money to account for the item we just purchased. Instead, make it yourself. There are several ways to do this.

When it comes to babies and all of the things they need, the bank account can soon be dented. First, baby food—make your own. There is a great website that shows you how to make your own baby food and store it--http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/ . Not only does this website show you how to make it but they give you recipes and age-appropriate foods to give your child. When making my own baby food for my daughter I used simple recipes. You can buy any fruits or veggies, cook them, throw them in a blender & then store them. I used ice cube trays for this. When the food is done blending in the blender, spoon the food into the ice cube trays. Put foil over the trays and place them in the freezer. Once they are done, pop the cubes out & put them in Ziploc baggies. Date & label the baggies and place them in the freezer. By freezing the food in ice cube trays you then have a 1 oz serving of food in each cube. When you need food, take as many cubes you will need out of the baggie and place them in a container. Put the container in the fridge & you are set! What is nice about making your own baby food is that you control what you put in your baby’s food & you control how you cook it & store it. It saves so much money! For example, you can buy one sweet potato for under a dollar & make about 12 servings out of it. Compare that to 3 jars of 4 oz sweet potato baby food for anywhere from $1.25-$2.00. You can also buy frozen veggies & fruits to make your own baby food as well. You just need to cook it first. You can usually buy a bag of frozen veggies for around 80 cents to 1 dollar for a 12 oz to 16 oz bag---which would equate to 3 to 4 jars of 4 oz baby food for about $2-$4. Then you stick them in the microwave with a little water, throw them in the blender, spoon them into the ice cube trays & freeze them. Easy as can be!

Another baby food item you can make yourself is teething crackers & table foods. Wholesomebabyfood.com has a wealth of recipes and information on how to do this. Overall, making your own baby food is simple & saves money. You are in control of what you put in & how you store it.

Where to Start...

When the idea came to me to start a blog, I had 10 thousand things I wanted to write about...now of course, I cannot think of any of those things. So, to start, I will explain why I decided to create this blog. This blog came to be for several reasons. One, I love to write. I started thinking back to when I used to write almost everyday. I would write poetry and stories and tell about real life experiences. Two, there are so many topics and issues I am passionate about and would like to share with others. Writing is becoming an out-dated item. People used to document important things in their lives or write about issues or topics they had studied. Now, the only writing people do is in creating their status for Facebook or Twitter. Writing is becoming a lost art. Three, when I read or hear something that impacts me, I reflect on it & long to share it with others. After reading a bible verse or listening to a sermon or a song, my mind fills with ideas and thoughts just waiting to be written out. I believe God gave us our thoughts for a reason. We can chose to do good with those thoughts and help others. Four, in being a stay-at-home mom I am finding ways to become creative with saving money & time. I would like to share with others how to save money by becoming thrifty. I am a big advocate for thrift shopping & finding great deals. Being a good steward of God's money means that I should love deals and saving money. I have been finding deals & bargains for a few years now and feel selfish keeping these ideas to myself. Although I know there are hundreds of blogs by stay-at-home moms just like me, I hope to be different and unique in my approach. This blog will not only be about saving money & my adventures as a stay-at-home mom, but also a faith-based blog with a mission to reach the lost & disciple other believers.